sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
