sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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