She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
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