At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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