I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Randomize
