I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
