i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
