We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize