We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
