Dual....:-)
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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