i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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