we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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