How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
