i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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