Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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