I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
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