And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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