Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
