ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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