Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Randomize
