Duck Duck Cougar?
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
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