If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
