You're completely useless in the revolution.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
