I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
