she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
