We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
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