it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I FOUND THE LEGS
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
