whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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