So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
