my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Randomize
