They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
