if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
