Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Your cock deserves a montage
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
