you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with two different species that night
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize