will power is for people who don't want to get laid
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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