I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
