I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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