Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
