Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
He? As in you personified your dick?
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
