I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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