Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
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I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
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He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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