There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
