Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
