In the future we'll all be gay
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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