Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
True strength comes from lack of pants
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
