sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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