I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
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