In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
