I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize