You work out of a Hotel?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
