I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize