i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I want a musical about memes.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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