third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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