goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
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