bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize