I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
