break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
how drunk are you?
Several
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
