yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
literally had 100 drinks last night.
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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